Archive for the 'TV' Category

William Shatner’s Roast Clips by amit

Comedy Central’s Roast of William Shatner (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous) doesn’t air till this Sunday, yet we’ve already got a few exclusive clips. Check out a few clips of Greg Giraldo, Patton Oswalt (with Andy Dick and Carrie Fisher), and the rumored house favorite Betty White as the poke fun at the guy with the biggest ego and most fake hair, ole Captain Kirk.

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posted on 10:29 pm 08/15/2006
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The Greatest Episode of TV of All Time by amit

Tyra Banks is deathly afraid of dolphins. Jessica Alba turns them on. Two very real stories, one very insane supermodel. C&V thought Banks took the cake with her phobia, but then we came across an episode of “Maury” hosted by Connie Chung’s husband, Maury Povich, showcasing some real nut jobs. Prepare to split your sides and break a rib watching these women talk about their phobias to all things American: pickles, birds, balloons, mustard and dogs. That’s not a typo. There’s someone who actually goes apeshit at the sight of yellow mustard. Enjoy.

Pickles:

Birds & Mustard:

Balloons:

Dogs:

posted on 7:37 am 07/03/2006
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Star Jones Hungers For Employment by amit

According to the NY Times, Star Jones-Reynolds, the once humungous, now just large TV talk show personality has officially left the ABC daytime show “The View.” Barbara Walters stated, “[ABC] had done a great deal of research, and her negatives were rising. Not so much because of what she did on the air. It was things she did off the air. The audience was losing trust in her. They didn’t believe some of the things she said.” It’s hard to fathom how the audience could have stopped liking a rotund person (think Santa Clause). So how did Star break the news? On “The View,” of course. On yesterday’s episode Jones-Reynolds-Big-Boy barged into Joy Behar’s discussion on air conditioning with,
“Excuse me one minute.” Star then grasped her cohorts hands into her Reese’s Pieces stained paws and poured,

“Something has been on my heart for a little bit, and after much prayer and counsel, I feel like this is the right time to tell you that the show is moving in another direction for its 10th season, and I will not be returning as co-host next year.”

That’s so Star Jones. Avoiding anything involving “moving.” Regardless, what is she to do now? As our readers may know, C&V’s an expert guidance counselor for the stars. We’ve helped failed American Idol’s Kellie Pickler and Elliott Yamin and now they’re on the fast track to becomes CEO’s and waiters. So SJ, here’s our suggested list of tasks/jobs to occupy your time. Take note.

- Change your MySpace Top 8
- Continue your efforts with Hurricane Katrina relief
- Play football
- Invest in egg nog commodities
- Work the register at her Honey Baked Ham
- Go swimming
- Terrorize the streets of New York as Gozer commands

posted on 11:19 am 06/28/2006
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So You Think You Look Alike by carly

Our dear reader Carly sent us a few interesting Celebrity Look Alikes with a twist. Somehow she looked through every image on Google Pictures to find two photos that would combine to form various contestants from So You Think You Can Dance. Take a gander. - Amit

America’s Sweetheart + Weirdo from Mad TV (Stephnie Weir) =
Heidi Groskreutz

Michael “Squints” Palledorous from The Sandlot + Stephen “Hoover” Cojocaru =
Ben Susak

Lisa Tucker (of “American Idol” and Guest Spot on “The OC” fame) + Mr. Horse from “Ren & Stimpy” =
Ashlee Nino

Good work Carly. For you efforts, we’ve sent you a $25.19 gift certificate to Amazon.com. The catch? You can only get this book.

posted on 1:06 pm 06/20/2006
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Extravadanza by jim

55 years, 1 month, and 19 days ago today TV personality Tony Danza was born. C&V would like to honor Tony and welcome our newest writer, Jim, by posting his thoughts on the “Tony Danza Show.” - amit

Oh, Tony Danza. What went wrong? Ok everything. You couldn’t box, you couldn’t act, and you keep telling yourself you can carry a tune. Unfortunately somebody upstairs keeps humoring the guy and letting him try to and do a number at the end of each painful episode of the “The Tony Danza Show.” I just feel awful for that poor female pianist who accompanies him as the credits roll by as fast as possible so nobody’s family is shamed by leaking the fact that they contribute to such a mess of a show. Holy run-on.

Anyway, the guy is just awkward all over the damn place. It’s like watching “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (a great show), but the situational discomfort is magnified because it’s non-fiction – the guy is actually doing his best at interviewing his unfortunate guests. It makes you wonder how many agents get fired after booking a client on this atrocity of a program. It also makes you wonder what sort of person could actually endure the live show. Women seem to account for a pretty solid 95% of the audience usually, with a few very angry and embarrassed husbands tucked into the back row. Are these people that desperate to get on television? Are they clinging to some overwhelming and twisted sentiment for Danza’s “Who’s the Boss?” days Or perhaps they all just find him very attractive.

Ok, maybe not.
However, there are many other questions yet to be answered about Mr. Danza’s many mysteries yet to be revealed. This man refuses to go quietly out of semi-stardom, and now we must all pay for his stubbornness by means of an astonishing drop in public television quality from 1 to 2am (for god’s sake DO NOT check your local listings).

posted on 12:17 pm 06/09/2006
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