Matt Lauer just called: Rosie O’Donnell has signed on to replace Meredith Viera on television’s “The View.” This isn’t the first time Rosie’s made it to C&V. Perhaps you remember “Great Moments In Acting: Rosie O’Donnell” or “Colon Blow,” two pieces chronicling the life and times of the makeup-hating, man-woman comedian. Now, Rosie O, or as we call her “Holy Shit! Look at that! It’s coming right for us!” is in a tricky position. Let C&V explain.
Starting from left to right, let’s go through “The View’s” typecasting.
1) Barbara Walters - the token old hag
2) Meredith Viera - the soccer mom
3) Star Jones - the minority
4) Joy Behar - the liberal
5) Elisabeth Hasselbeck - the conservative
So what happens when you replace “the soccer mom” with “the lesbian in need of a shave?” The balance gets all out of whack. “The View,” as we know it, could go under. The daytime oasis of fun and cat-fights could dissolve into a seething half-hour of worthless female prattle that no one cares about.
But don’t worry. Rosie has tackled the subject, in poem form, on her blog. I’ve cut and paste the poem below:
My “View” Dilemma
Thought Cancer
Eating at my brain
will I ruin
the ViewI think other thoughts
Cheerios, Oreos, Mallowmars,
but ever and always
will I ruin
the ViewI eat whip cream
straight from the tub
and fake a crush
on Tom Cruise.but ever and always
will I ruin
the View“We need a butch,
someone with lots of anger”
I cough up sawdust
from a day at the mill.Time to stop moaning
I’m going to buy
a McFlurry
and watch Idol
And now, an old photo Amit photoshopped of the lesbo-tron.
News, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |
On April 19th Ben & Jerry’s held their annual “Free Cone Day” at participating frozen dessert outlets across the country. Unfortunately, I didn’t arrive quick enough to savor a cone of Phish Food or cup of Half Baked. But, we learned a few celebrities did. That’s right. Stars who have millions of dollars to their name love the taste of free, and last Tuesday, it was free ice cream. Staying true to our celebrity curiosities, we scoured the net for images of stars at Ben and Jerry’s stores getting their eat on, and boy did we find some winners. Take a look at their high jinks.
Movies, Music, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |
Wes Anderson recently joined the American Express hocking likes of M. Night Shizermalan and Ellen Degeneres. Previously, the commercial could only be seen in theaters… until one fateful day (yesterday) when Celluloid And Vinyl liberated the video for the masses in a stunning raid. See below.
Movies, News, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |
Sprint has announced Blogstar, a wireless blogging platform built exclusively so celebrities could voice their day-to-day lives to the world. Now stars will be able to beat the tabloids and paparazzi to the punch as they upload pics, stories and soon video to their sites thus also ending the need for gossip blogs. Blogstar launches in the midst of falling sales of cell phone ringtones and wallpapers and the rising popularity of MySpace (and the MySpace Top 8’s). Of course there’s a caveat. The service is subscription based and will cost $5/month for curious web surfers to read about their favorite famous “friends.” According to Reuters, “subscribers receive alerts when new posts are uploaded.” Natalie, age nineteen and unimpressed by BlogStar, told C&V, “I don’t want those moth*r fu*king alerts interrupting my shout outs to KiKi and my convos with my boo, Rayonelle.” Allison, 16, on a website by Wilmer Valderrama added, “[she]‘d rather pour battery acid in [her] eyes and eat rusty nails with cold gravy than read his blog.” Despite our market research (two sassy teens), many celebrity sites are going up as we speak and good, bad, or ugly, we wanted to know who’s blogging. So, living up to our highly motivated and somtimes illegal journalistic search for knowledge, C&V hounded Sprint for 3 days till they finally coughed up an exclusive run-down of the top celebrity blog URLs. Be sure to bookmark ‘em all.
Nick Lachey:
www.single-and-employed.com
Wesley Snipes:
www.blackr.com
Ashlee Simpson:
www.lipsyncedlife.com
Bam Margera:
www.how-the-hell-am-i-famous.com
David Arquette:
www.mymoviesblow.com
Natalie Portman:
www.shaved.com
Charlie Sheen:
www.restrainthis.com
Heidi Klum:
www.clubbing-with-seal.com
Pete Doherty:
www.webmd.com
Sharon Stone:
www.basicallyextinct.com
Melissa Etheridge:
www.flannelcarpet.com
Movies, Music, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |
MySpace.com has exploded over the past few years to become the #7 most visited site on the Internet according to Alexa.org (C&V is #9 +/- 56,000,000). For those of you all not in the know, MySpace is a venue for people to create profiles about themselves, find virtual “friendsÂ,” trade comments and have annoying songs like Aqua’s “Barbie Girl“ and Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping“ play while profiles load. But the most intriguing feature and soon to be a social class above upper-middle is the “Top 8.”The Top 8 consists of user-picked friends chosen from their pool of pals to appear directly on their profile (we only have 4 friends and can’t use this feature). It’s an interesting way to flaunt the people you relate to or like the most while excluding those proverbially deemed as tools or inbreeds. With that, C&V thought it would be fascinating to peer into celebrity MySpace profiles and view their “Top 8’s.” You’ll be shocked to learn who the upper echelon of today’s society considers worthy of their elite eight seats. Take a look.
Movies, Music, TV | Comments (10) | Permalink |
Search
- Exclusives (5)
- Interviews (2)
- News (125)
- Reviews (10)
- Exclusives (9)
- Interviews (3)
- News (58)
- Outfit of the Week (18)
- Reviews (15)
- Songs of the Week (31)
- Exclusives (6)
- News (43)
- Reviews (5)
