Archive for the 'News' Category

Star Jones Hungers For Employment by amit

According to the NY Times, Star Jones-Reynolds, the once humungous, now just large TV talk show personality has officially left the ABC daytime show “The View.” Barbara Walters stated, “[ABC] had done a great deal of research, and her negatives were rising. Not so much because of what she did on the air. It was things she did off the air. The audience was losing trust in her. They didn’t believe some of the things she said.” It’s hard to fathom how the audience could have stopped liking a rotund person (think Santa Clause). So how did Star break the news? On “The View,” of course. On yesterday’s episode Jones-Reynolds-Big-Boy barged into Joy Behar’s discussion on air conditioning with,
“Excuse me one minute.” Star then grasped her cohorts hands into her Reese’s Pieces stained paws and poured,

“Something has been on my heart for a little bit, and after much prayer and counsel, I feel like this is the right time to tell you that the show is moving in another direction for its 10th season, and I will not be returning as co-host next year.”

That’s so Star Jones. Avoiding anything involving “moving.” Regardless, what is she to do now? As our readers may know, C&V’s an expert guidance counselor for the stars. We’ve helped failed American Idol’s Kellie Pickler and Elliott Yamin and now they’re on the fast track to becomes CEO’s and waiters. So SJ, here’s our suggested list of tasks/jobs to occupy your time. Take note.

- Change your MySpace Top 8
- Continue your efforts with Hurricane Katrina relief
- Play football
- Invest in egg nog commodities
- Work the register at her Honey Baked Ham
- Go swimming
- Terrorize the streets of New York as Gozer commands

posted on 11:19 am 06/28/2006
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Jon Stewart Defends Gay Marriage by amit

Host of “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart, got into a heated debate with Bill Bennett over the issue of gay marriage. Jon pretty much bends Bennett over (figuratively) and gives him a verbal beating. Sit back and watch.

posted on 12:16 pm 06/08/2006
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Steph Tanner To Host Striptease Show by amit

After completing charity work in New Orleans, Steph “Give Me Meth” Tanner, sometimes known as Jodie Sweetin, makes a return to television. The middle Tanner has signed with FUSE network to host a stripper show called, get ready for this, “Pants-Off Dance-Off.” Once you’ve recovered from the title, listen to the premise. Ordinary people of all ages strip to their favorite music videos. The Tube predicts the season series will culminate with a 500 lbs woman ripping her clothes off to Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That).” According to Page 6, FUSE hired the Meth Queen so she’d use her fake TV family connections and invite the Olsen twins to do a striptease. Good luck with that lost cause.

Rough translation: “Meth is My Anti-Drug”

posted on 11:53 am 06/08/2006
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“Daily Show” Co-Host Signs with Microsoft by amit

Demetri Martin, co-host on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” has signed with Microsoft and his home network in a multi-platform media deal. Microsoft hopes Martin will be the face of the advertising campaign for the upcoming realase of Windows Vista, the followup to Windows XP. Part of the deal includes a 10 part web-based episode, or webisode, set to air on MSN.com. More info on the deal and Martin’s career can be read at the Washington Post.

Demetri Martin in Windows 98 era clothes

posted on 4:24 pm 06/07/2006
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“LOST” Dog Gets Website by amit

Our loyal reader, Red, sent us an interesting website. Apparently, Vincent, the yellow retriever from the ABC show “LOST,” may have his own website “supported by the Hanso Foundation.” On the site one can learn about real-life yellow retrievers and their apparent clairvoyant abilities through a timeline and an odd comic book. There’s no real mention of Vincent, but the faux doctor on the site is coincidentally named “Dr. Vincent ‘Wally’ Bolé.” “Wally” as in Walter? Hmmm. Maybe Vincent the dog, the most mysterious and absent character on the show, will have a significant role coming up. “LOST” returns with its third season this fall.

View the full website here.

posted on 1:13 am 06/07/2006
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