It was Saturday, 11:32 A.M. and sunlight bled through the almost closed curtains of our sub-par Vegas hotel room shared with six other people. Everyone was fast asleep (passed out), but I lay wide-eyed and delirious after a lengthy night of sitting around a green semicircle playing blackjack. Sitting up slowly I realized the line between business and pleasure was almost nonexistent when on assignment for C&V. But there was more to this trip than card decks of debauchery. There was music. There was Vegoose. After recovering the rest of the day I headed down to the Sam Boyd Stadium, a true oasis in the Vegas desert. Strewn across the sands rested giant circus tents, carved pumpkins and Halloween revelers trick or treating for some quality music and/or mescaline.
I arrived to the shows pretty damn late. The festival started around noon with Toubab Krewe, but I didn’t get there till mid-set of the Mars Volta around 8. I don’t know much about their music other than a few tracks I heard via iTunes, so don’t send us packages of dead animals when I tell you they sounded like banshees in heat scraping their banshee nails on chalkboards read by younger banshees. How bad were they? You know those Dyson vacuum cleaners that suck 5 times the force of gravity? Well, move over Dyson. You’ve got competition. Instead of harmonies, we got shrieking. There were no notes played here. All to be heard was the melody of an A.C. wall unit tumbling down an old rickety fire escape. Genuine noise.
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We all know celebrities have diamond studded swimming pools full of money. That’s half the horror of being rich and famous. And, sadly, we can’t get enough of who they date, where they live, and, apparently now, what’s on their grocery lists. Fresh Direct, an online food delivery service in New York City, is publishing grocery lists of their celebrity customers. They hope to open the fridge and shed a small white light for normal people and the guy who played Buddy Lembeck on “Charles in Charge” what those with “F-You money” eat. But does anyone give a hoot that Cynthia Nixon, the red-headed meerkat look alike from “Sex and the City,” nibbles down Tobago Wild Blackfin Tuna Loin? Nope. Nor do we care that hardcore writer/racists director, Spike Lee, only eats New England Fresh, Grade A Large Brown Eggs. Wait, brown eggs Spikey? Someone likes his omelets topped with jungle fever. 
Either way, I’d rather read that Nicollette Sheridan, the personification of “botched plastic surgery,” only orders foods high in preservatives like sodium benzoate and drinks cooking sherry to numb the pain of knowing she’s married to Michael Bolton. C’mon Fresh Direct, spill the beans on the racy grocery lists. America’s hungry for some real meat. You can omit why Clay Aiken insists on ordering phallic shaped fruits and vegetables though.
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The creative juices were flowing for the people who made this animated montage of classic album art covers in an all out gore-fest. Watch as the likes of Ozzy Osbourne to the baby on the cover of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” go insane and rampage across decades of iconic covers.
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We’ve just learned Celluloid and Vinyl will be attending the second annual Vegoose Music Festival in the booze-filled oasis of the desert, Las Vegas. We’re sending two of our writers (as press) to drink, see The Killers, gamble, take shots with and interview Jack White, split aces at The Mandalay Bay, go backstage with Tom Petty, stay up till sunrise, pretend to be black with Jurassic 5, and maybe, just maybe, sleep amidst the Sin City shenanigans. Thankfully, whatever the hell happens in Vegas won’t stay there. We’ll have full coverage of the pre-Halloween weekend, the ballyhoo, and, of course, the music. The shows start Saturday, October 28th and tickets are still available. View the full line-up after the jump.
[more...] posted on 5:45 pm 10/09/2006
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Norm MacDonald’s “Ridiculous” 65/100
Remember when Norm Macdonald was fired from “Saturday Night Live” as the “Weekend Update” anchorman a while back because he wasn’t funny, only to return the following season as the guest host—did he suddenly become funny? That question remains to be answered, but if you’re a fan of Macdonald’s, then you’re sure to love his new sketch comedy album “Ridiculous.”
Some notable comedians to lend a hand, or should I say their voices to this album are fellow SNL alumnae Will Ferrell, Fred Stoller, Tim Meadows, Jon Lovitz, and Molly Shannon.
With tracks like “The World’s First Two Gay Guys” and “Girls, Girls, Girls,” this album is definitely not rated PG. In the latter, Macdonald plays a psychiatrist whose schizophrenic patient played by funny girl, Molly Shannon, is not at all shy about expressing her sexual attraction to the good doctor by using the “f” word as a verb, as well as the words
cock,” “mouth,” “lick,” and “ass.” That should be enough for you to fill in the blanks. In “The World’s First Two Gay Guys,” Ferrell and Macdonald play two beer-drinking buddies who decide to have sex with each other while watching the all-time masculine American sport, no other than football, in the mid 1950’s.
“The World’s First Two Gay Guys” isn’t the first time Macdonald pokes fun at homosexuality. In fact, it’s an on-going theme found in four of the twelve tracks, one of which is the nineteen-minute sketch “Tex Hooper,” where a former country singer who often sang about loose women resurfaces after a long absence only to come out of the closet.
Comic book junkies will enjoy how Macdonald ridicules the secret identities of superheroes in the first track “The Fantastic Four” and later in “Stan & Lois.” In the CD’s opener, Mr. Fantastic gets some heat from his fellow colleagues for naming himself after the group while the remaining three members are named as a result of their powers. In “Stan & Lois,” Macdonald plays Stan, a sports reporter at The Daily Planet, who tries to get Lois in bed by convincing her that he in fact is Superman.
If you’re stuck in traffic or riding the subway, pick up this CD for commercial-free listening.
Listen/Buy at 
Own a free copy of the track “The World’s First Two Gay Guys.”
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