Archive for the 'Headlines' Category

A-List Grocery Lists by amit

We all know celebrities have diamond studded swimming pools full of money. That’s half the horror of being rich and famous. And, sadly, we can’t get enough of who they date, where they live, and, apparently now, what’s on their grocery lists. Fresh Direct, an online food delivery service in New York City, is publishing grocery lists of their celebrity customers. They hope to open the fridge and shed a small white light for normal people and the guy who played Buddy Lembeck on “Charles in Charge” what those with “F-You money” eat. But does anyone give a hoot that Cynthia Nixon, the red-headed meerkat look alike from “Sex and the City,” nibbles down Tobago Wild Blackfin Tuna Loin? Nope. Nor do we care that hardcore writer/racists director, Spike Lee, only eats New England Fresh, Grade A Large Brown Eggs. Wait, brown eggs Spikey? Someone likes his omelets topped with jungle fever. Either way, I’d rather read that Nicollette Sheridan, the personification of “botched plastic surgery,” only orders foods high in preservatives like sodium benzoate and drinks cooking sherry to numb the pain of knowing she’s married to Michael Bolton. C’mon Fresh Direct, spill the beans on the racy grocery lists. America’s hungry for some real meat. You can omit why Clay Aiken insists on ordering phallic shaped fruits and vegetables though.

“I happen to love squash, m’kay?”

posted on 5:13 pm 10/13/2006
Headlines, Music, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |

C&V’s Going To Vegoose by amit

We’ve just learned Celluloid and Vinyl will be attending the second annual Vegoose Music Festival in the booze-filled oasis of the desert, Las Vegas. We’re sending two of our writers (as press) to drink, see The Killers, gamble, take shots with and interview Jack White, split aces at The Mandalay Bay, go backstage with Tom Petty, stay up till sunrise, pretend to be black with Jurassic 5, and maybe, just maybe, sleep amidst the Sin City shenanigans. Thankfully, whatever the hell happens in Vegas won’t stay there. We’ll have full coverage of the pre-Halloween weekend, the ballyhoo, and, of course, the music. The shows start Saturday, October 28th and tickets are still available. View the full line-up after the jump.

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posted on 5:45 pm 10/09/2006
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Ridiculously Funny by abbey

Norm MacDonald’s “Ridiculous” 65/100

Remember when Norm Macdonald was fired from “Saturday Night Live” as the “Weekend Update” anchorman a while back because he wasn’t funny, only to return the following season as the guest host—did he suddenly become funny? That question remains to be answered, but if you’re a fan of Macdonald’s, then you’re sure to love his new sketch comedy album “Ridiculous.”

Some notable comedians to lend a hand, or should I say their voices to this album are fellow SNL alumnae Will Ferrell, Fred Stoller, Tim Meadows, Jon Lovitz, and Molly Shannon.

With tracks like “The World’s First Two Gay Guys” and “Girls, Girls, Girls,” this album is definitely not rated PG. In the latter, Macdonald plays a psychiatrist whose schizophrenic patient played by funny girl, Molly Shannon, is not at all shy about expressing her sexual attraction to the good doctor by using the “f” word as a verb, as well as the words
cock,” “mouth,” “lick,” and “ass.” That should be enough for you to fill in the blanks. In “The World’s First Two Gay Guys,” Ferrell and Macdonald play two beer-drinking buddies who decide to have sex with each other while watching the all-time masculine American sport, no other than football, in the mid 1950’s.

“The World’s First Two Gay Guys” isn’t the first time Macdonald pokes fun at homosexuality. In fact, it’s an on-going theme found in four of the twelve tracks, one of which is the nineteen-minute sketch “Tex Hooper,” where a former country singer who often sang about loose women resurfaces after a long absence only to come out of the closet.

Comic book junkies will enjoy how Macdonald ridicules the secret identities of superheroes in the first track “The Fantastic Four” and later in “Stan & Lois.” In the CD’s opener, Mr. Fantastic gets some heat from his fellow colleagues for naming himself after the group while the remaining three members are named as a result of their powers. In “Stan & Lois,” Macdonald plays Stan, a sports reporter at The Daily Planet, who tries to get Lois in bed by convincing her that he in fact is Superman.

If you’re stuck in traffic or riding the subway, pick up this CD for commercial-free listening.

Listen/Buy at

Own a free copy of the track “The World’s First Two Gay Guys.”

posted on 11:45 am 10/09/2006
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Review: Lisa Papineau’s “Night Moves” 33/100 by quinne

I looked at the CD cover artwork for Lisa Papineau’s “Night Moves” with hope–it was comfortable, simple and inviting. It made me want to smoke some pot, take my shoes off and make snow-less snow angels in the green grass of my Los Angeles front yard. I put the disc in my CD player and sat down excitedly on my floor to do some painting. I was secretly hoping the album would bear parallels to Air’s “Talkie Walkie,” an album to which Lisa Papineau lent her vocals. “Talkie Walkie” is deliciously different from Air’s earlier music. Like the course of Radiohead’s musical journey, it shows progression and development–a positive and pleasant divergence from their previous musical output.

I was egregiously disappointed. The first six tracks left me bored. Instead of painting, I just sat on my floor, brow furrowed. I kept thinking that if Sarah McLachlan had been blindfolded, sedated and kidnapped from the nineties, and then thrown into the new millennium to embark on her musical career, it might sound like this. Lyrical? Kinda. Melodic? I suppose. Complex? Compelling? Passionate? Interesting? No, no, no and NO!

I felt like I had felt when I bought Sia’s solo album. Zero 7’s “Simple Things” touched me deeply, left me aching for more. It’s an incredible album. I checked out their other albums and was sadly less than impressed, however. When I heard that Sia, their female vocalist, had her own album coming out, I was first in line to buy it. And was first to be disappointed. I feel similarly cheated by “Night Moves.”

Luckily, after six tracks something changed briefly. It’s amusing, because the title of the song, “What are we waiting for?” asked the very question I had been posing in my mind. Why were they waiting until track seven to wake up and smell the listener? There is a resonance in that song that affected me subcutaneously. It worked its way under my skin and into my veins and bones. There it vibrated, managing against all odds for a little over five minutes to hold my attention. It wasn’t because the lyrics of this song are poetic or moving, nor because the music is more substantially crafted. There’s just one indescribable element to it that compelled my frown to momentarily disappear. I might actually download that one onto my iPod. But once I’ve done that, I’m mailing the CD off to Bob Seger. Maybe he can make “Night Moves” work for him.

posted on 11:42 am 10/06/2006
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Homeless Pimp My Ride by amit

You’ve seen MTV’s “Pimp My Ride” where show winners receive a completely useless makeover for their dilapidated vehicle. Who knows why “pimping” equals sinking $20,000 to put an aquarium and a flat screen into a car that’s got 253,752 miles, but it is. Regardless, take a look at short, 50 second clip of the homeless version of the popular show.

posted on 12:40 pm 10/05/2006
Headlines, TV | Comments (0) | Permalink |