Archive for the 'Headlines' Category

Baby Tips From C&V by dan

So, Tom Cruise, you’ve had a baby. I’m sure that you and Katie “refuses to take your last name” Holmes are very proud. But, now comes the difficult task of child rearing. And we’ll tell you this, it’s not going to be easy. Mistakes happen all the time. So we here at Celluloid And Vinyl are offering a few tips and suggestions to help you, Katie, and Suri blossum into the galactic O.T.7 glory so promised by Operating Thetan Zanix four Tri-ghandides ago.

Tip #1: Bottle Feeding

Don’t rush your child to the bottle. It’ll lead to Fucked teeth. And, unlike AIDS and Heroin addiction, screwed teeth can’t be fixed with vitamins and exercise.

Tip #2: Find a proper crib

Don’t just lump that baby in with all the other garbage in your life. This thing can breathe and maybe even talk one day.

Tip #3: Enroll the child in a proper daycare

The above is a real picture from Palestine. In the industry, we call this “ending on a down note.”

posted on 7:49 pm 04/25/2006
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Jack White Does Coke by dan

Jack White’s Coca-Cola commercial just debuted. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Now, I’m sure some of you might be saying, “So, if Jack White advertises regular Coke, who does Coke have advertising their new Coke Blak?” Previously, Amit broke the news that this fine African-American gentleman was Coke Blak’s new spokesman. But we’ve just learned that’s not longer true. Click below to see the new Coke Blak commerical.

posted on 12:35 pm 04/18/2006
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Dakota ‘Round The World by candv

Join us as we celebrate Dakota’s varied, exciting, and long life.

Shanhai Pass, China
Dakota Fanning, dressed for success and snowy weather, continues her journey east and heads to China. Joining her on the walk across the Great Wall of China are pals (from left) Harry and Zhen O’Callaghan and Asian boy toy , Yum-Yum.

“Yum-Yum, you have to be this tall to date me.”

Chalumna River, South Africa

Weary from the long 3,948 mile walk across the Chinese wall, Dakota decides to take a relaxing fishing trip in South Africa. Luckily, formal wear didn’t stop the young actress from angling her first fish with her childhood Fisher-Price pole. Congrats, it’s a coelacanth. To Dakota’s dismay, catching the once thought extinct fish is punishable by 10 lashes with a dry spaghetti noodle. Good thing she’s…

Dakota laughs and waves after killing a “living fossil.”

Arctic Circle
Parka-less and perched atop an ice floe alongside a Walrus. This is one of those rare Antarctic moments when you actually have 2 photo angles of the same subject. Click through to see an angle from the ship!

[more...]

posted on 12:10 am 04/12/2006
Headlines, Movies | Comments (1) | Permalink |

Dakota Fanning Update! [Updated x2] by dan

The kind folks at CNN.com have been gracious enough to write us with an update on the Dakota Fanning news. Below is their email:

There are facts which prove that the supposed CNN.com screen grab updated at 1:17 a.m. EDT on April 11, 2006 which appears on your website is a fake page:

1. The lead story on CNN.com between 1:00 and 1:30 a.m. ET on April 11, 2006 was immigration (Please see the attached screen grab, courtesy of CNN.com). PLEASE NOTE: CNN.com takes snapshots of our pages on the half hour. The attached screen grab is the snapshot taken at 1:30 a.m. ET, which reads “UPDATED: 1:07 a.m. EDT, April 11, 2006. If the page had been updated at 1:17, that version would have been captured at 1:30.

2. CNN Pipeline, CNN.com’s premium live video news service, streams CNN International during the hours of 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. ET. In the CNN Pipeline window on this screen grab, it claims “LIVE: Breaking News –President Bush makes comments at the White House on economic issues.” In addition to it being highly unlikely for President Bush have a live presser at the White House at 1:17 a.m. ET to discuss economic issues, the fact is that during overnight hours (EDT) that particular CNN Pipeline real estate on CNN.com reads, “LIVE: CNN INTERNATIONAL.”

I trust this information will compel you to correct the posting or at least update the misinformation. Please let me know if you have any questions, as I am happy to assist. Thanks.

Best,
Jennifer L. Martin
Manager, Technology Public Relations
CNN Worldwide

While the points are valid, we’re still not ready to de-myth the rumor of a CNN goof as…. she checked the wrong date. She ran a report on the 11th of april, not the 10th (the date of the fiasco). We’ve written her on the issue and will keep you posted about her reply.

Let’s hope Mrs. Martin is correct.

UPDATE!
CNN/Ms. Martin has gotten back to us. Here’s what she had to say:

Thanks much for responding to my email. Many apologies for addressing April 11 –the quality of the grab on your site was a bit fuzzy, so it was difficult for me to tell whether or not it was a “10″ or “11.”

As requested, I have obtained the screen grab from April 10, 2006 taken at 1:30 a.m. EDT. Please find it attached. As you will note in the attached grab, this page was updated at 1:10 a.m. EDT. At CNN.com, we take grabs of the site in 30-minute intervals, as I believe I indicated in my previous email. With this particlar grab being taken at 1:30 and containing the last UPDATE time as 1:10 a.m., it should be clear that the site was not altered, changed or updated in any way between 1:10 a.m., when the site was updated for content, and 1:30 a.m., when the grab was taken. Therefore, there is no merit to the counterfiet screen grab which you were provided, which states that the site was last updated on April 10 at 1:17 a.m. — I wish I could get you a screen grab that said 1:17 a.m. — but all that references is the UPDATE time; not the actual time of day.

Additionally, if you will examine the stories on the screen grab which I have provided and compare them to the stories on the screen grab which you have posted on your site, you will see that there are little to no consistencies in the content. As I’m sure you can appreciate, it’s impossible we would have purged every single story on CNN.com for completely new content within seven minutes during the 1 a.m. EDT hour.

I do hope this addresses your questions and concerns. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

Best,
Jen

Check out the CNN supplied screenshot Here.

UPDATE #2

This just in, I think Jen hates us… Here’s another CNN update

As I’ve just checked your website (it’s clear now I should have done that prior to
replying to your email request for clarification this evening), I find it unfortunate that you didn’t allow our exchange to conclude before posting the update.

Are you in the Eastern time zone? The reason I ask is that your posting is dated 6:33 p.m., and you state, “We’ve written her on the issue and will keep you posted about her reply.” Strange, but I didn’t receive a email from you asking for clarification until 7:13 p.m. ET; to which I replied in full within 14 minutes.

Aside from those details, I hope you found my most recent reply and explanation at 7:27 p.m.EDT, including the screen grab dated April 10 to be sufficient evidence that CNN did not in fact “goof;” and this terrible incident is actually a hoax or joke made in very poor taste.

I also would encourage you to visit www.pastdeadline.com and www.glitteratigossip.com for further information/clarification about this hoax.

I look forward to hearing from you, and getting this matter resolved. Thanks!

Best,
Jennifer Martin

P.S. And just for the record, I am not a “Mrs.” Referring to me as “Ms. Martin” or simply “Jen” would be just fine.

posted on 6:33 pm 04/11/2006
Exclusives, Headlines, Movies | Comments (2) | Permalink |

C&V Salutes Dakota Fanning by candv

Maybe you noticed the new banner. Maybe you noticed the theme in our articles. We’re honoring Dakota Fanning this week. We don’t know her state. To be honest, we haven’t heard anything except that CNN snippet a couple of nights ago. We’ve written Dakota’s family, agent, and CNN to ascertain the truth… all to no avail. So, we’re dedicating our site to Dakota this week. Our hopes and prayers are with the brilliant, shining starlet.

posted on 12:01 am 04/11/2006
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