In the 1950’s America was in an accusatory, finger-pointing uproar thanks to Republican Senator Joseph McCarthy. The nutty Senator from Wisconsin went on an anti-Communism campaign, dubbed “McCarthyism,” in order to out all the “red” Americans. Fast forward to fifty years later and we’re doing the same thing, except gayer. According to The Daily Kos, Mike Rogers, a proud and prominent gay activist, has outed Sen. Larry Craig not as a red Commie bastard, but rather a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple homosexual (P.C. term: homo). Is gay the new Communism on Capitol Hill? If so, it’s a real tragedy Vladimir “died in the closet” Lenin never lived to see the People’s Bed, Bath, and Beyond (coming to Bethesda, MD Spring 2007).

These allegations plus the 3-ring media circus of the Mark Foley scandal has the movie and theatre industry in an effeminate and jealous uproar. Andy Dick, in an unconfirmed and lisped quote, stated,
“Politics aren’t where gays are supposed to be. [We]‘re thespians and unfunny comedians, not congressmen. Plus everyone knows the antique shopping in D.C. blows.”
Now that gay Republican and strait Andy Dick are no longer oxymorons, we could be on the brink of a McCarthy-style outing war. Finally Americans will be in a war they understand and maybe even support, as long as marriage isn’t in it. Who will the next target? What senator will be caught spouting the names of women’s designer shoes? Which congressman will be photographed around just enough women to be considered a man-on-man lover and not a pimp (the limit’s 4)? Only time will tell. Or maybe a TIME cover story.

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Wow! I didn’t know that site was that good!
January 2nd, 2008 20:48